Hi All!
I wanted to let you know that Mark got out of surgery about 45 minutes ago. He did AWESOME! They were able to repair the pelvis with a plate in front along with 6 screws (they gave me x-rays and it's way cool), along with an additional BIG screw through the side of the hip into the sacrum. They were also able to get the knee done today. The x-rays on that are pretty wild. Lots of screws, a huge plate, and a bone graft. They will watch it very carefully in the days to come. There is a window of about 2 weeks or so that he is at risk for infection at this site because it was an open fracture, so please continue to pray regarding this. So far, thanks be to God, it shows no sign of infection whatsoever. :)

Because the surgery went about 6 hours today, plus the 1 hour filter placement this morning, they were NOT able to get to the ankle today. Dr. Rusnak (the orthopedic surgeon) said that they will do that surgery either Friday or Monday, depending on swelling, schedules, etc...I trust the Lord with that decision and while I am not looking forward to Mark going through surgery again, I know that Drs. being fresh and Mark getting some rest before the next surgery is definitely wisdom!

Mark's parents and my Mom were here all day with me, which was great. My friends Jim and Kris continue to be angels on assignment. I will spend the night here tonight, just because I want to be close. But tomorrow I will plan to get back into the night and morning routine with Christian. He is doing great and had a wonderful day at Resurrection Fellowship, where he goes to preschool. He misses Daddy, but so far he has been a very happy and content boy. Thank you for your prayers for grace for his heart, and for wisdom for me, as I balance these worlds.

On a FUNNY note...The nurses here are an absolute blast and so much fun. And in honor of April Fool's Day, the respiratory therapist got the idea yesterday to hang one of these glass bottles they use for a certain type of drip from the IV rack and put oxygenated water in it, along with three goldfish for when the 10 or so Dr's came in to do their rounds this morning. It was hysterical as the Doc's one by one saw that thing hanging with fish swimming around. They all broke out their phones and started taking pictures. We even labeled it "Omega 3." A little comic relief in the midst of a trying time, which I know Mark will get a kick out of later. I attached a picture of the IV stand and you can see the little fishies swimming around. The respiratory therapist (Kevin) bought Christian a whole goldfish kit, so we could take home the fish for Christian! So thoughtful. I found out just minutes ago that he is a Christian, as he had seen me lead worship before at Resurrection Fellowship. Too cool!

Welp, that's it for tonight. I'll continue to keep you posted as we approach the next surgery. We have a long road ahead, but our God is already there.

Love & blessings to you,
Shannon

Good Morning all,
I arrived back at the ICU this morning at 6:30 AM after spending the evening with Christian and sleeping at home. I slept pretty well over all, thank the Lord! We even watched American Idol, which was a good distraction! My dear friends Jim and Kris Dunlap spent the night with me and took Christian to preschool this morning for me (which is only 5 minutes down the road, so I'm thankful to be close). God continues to show His mercy and grace toward us in so many ways and they are being expressed through the love of His saints. I am so grateful.

Mark had a good, steady night, and the Dr's just got done evaluating him for surgery. All is a "go" at 10:30 this morning. They will take him down to the respiratory folks around 10 AM. Right now they are putting a filter in him to prevent blood clots and the team is scampering around his room right now.

As you intercede for Mark today, please bring these special requests to the throne for us, would you?

1. Please pray for supernatural wisdom and skill for the Orthopedic Surgeon Dr. Resnick, as well as for all the other Drs. and nurses and gifted medical personnel who will be attending. Pray for clarity of thought & attentiveness (the surgery will be 7 or 8 hours) and for their hands to be guided by our Great God. Please pray for all equipment to function perfectly and for each aspect of the surgery to be a success.

2. The Drs. this morning said that their goal for today's surgery is to get the pelvis fixed, as well as the knee. If things go really smoothly, they will try to get to the ankle as well. If they do not get to the ankle, they will have to go into surgery in a few more days for that. Please just ask the Lord to give them supernatural decision-making skills when it comes to that, as I want what is best for Mark overall and the Lord knows what that is.

3. There are several specific things you can be praying for with regard to Mark's body and recovery, in addition to the obvious. Please pray for NO blood clots. They are inserting the filter now to prevent those, because he is very high risk for them, since he has injuries in both knees and casts wraps and braces around them both.

4. Please also agree with us that his lungs will remain clear and free from pneumonia. So far they are pretty good, but the right side, where he broke all those ribs, has a little bit of congestion.

5. In addition, please continue to pray that he will not get any infection in his body, particularly at the site of the knee fracture (tibial plateau) where it was an open fracture.

6. Continue to pray for circulation to both feet to be healthy, especially as they heal from the surgery. Because his ankle, in particular, was completely dislocated from all three spots where it holds the ankle together, it will need to mend very well. Our God is ABLE!

7. Pray for supernatural peace for Mark all day today, that his spirit man would be encouraged and comforted in every way by the Holy Spirit our Comforter. And of course, pray for supernatural protection from the top of his head to the bottom of his feet, that Almighty God would surround Him on every side, guarding His heart, mind and body.

8. I am also praying and believing, and was praying on the way to the hospital this morning, that God the Creator, who knit Mark together in his mother's womb, would knit him together once again supernaturally today. It it my prayer that even the Drs. would be in awe of how well the surgery goes, how quickly Mark heals, etc...and we will give all the glory to the Lord!

I think those are my main prayers to bring before the Mercy Seat today. As I mentioned, Mark will be in surgery most of the day, and at some point Dr. Resnick will make the call whether or not to continue on to the ankle. I will be sure to keep you posted as best as I can, as I'll be doing a lot of "waiting" today.

I feel the presence of the Lord absolutely surrounding me and am casting my anxiety on Him. I worshipped and prayed as I drove West toward the mountains to the hospital this morning and felt joy and peace infuse my inner man, for which I am so grateful. I also sense amazing peace in Mark. All the Dr's and nurses have commented on how peaceful he is and what a sweet man he is. They must get some grumpy ones in here! :)

The Lord keeps bringing Ephesians 3:20 to my heart..."Now to Him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to His power that is at work within us, to HIM be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen!"

Thank you, thank you, thank you precious saints for your prayers and intercession on Mark's behalf. I am confident that He who began a work in Him will be faithful to complete it!

Please feel free to forward this to anyone you know would pray in agreement with us! We are also posting these updates to my website, so for folks who aren't on Facebook, they can check there as well. (www.shannonwexelberg.com)

I love and appreciate you all,

Shannon

Hello all!
This morning when I woke up I remembered the lyrics to a song I wrote years ago called "You Carry Me..." and it's never been more true than now.

You carry me
You point the way, You steady my feet
You hold my hand
You are the strength of who I am
The world down here may think I'm strong
But they're wrong...
You carry me

I have to say, first and foremost, that I am more aware of the grace and mercy and steadfastness of the Living God right now than I probably ever have been. He has been at every turn in such a supernatural way than I am just smiling! It's amazing that in the midst of such tragedy, we have such hope.

There are so many ways that I have seen God's hand moving in the midst of this, that it would be way too long to write here. But I have become more and more aware that HE CARES about EVERY detail of our life. His arm is not short. He sees us, He guards us, He holds us, He goes behind, He goes before. It's amazing. His peace is supernatural.

And I wept this morning as I was getting ready to head back to the ICU at the beauty of the Body of Christ. That old Twila Paris song.."How Beautiful" kept running through my head. The love, prayers and offers of help have poured in like rivers of living water over my soul the last 36 hours. Thousands of people are praying and I'm simply blown away with gratefulness. Thank YOU does not express how much this means, but I must begin there and I know would feel the same.

Now for the latest update...

Mark had a good day yesterday. He is still on a breathing tube and is sedated, but only just enough to keep him out of pain and stay sleepy enough to sleep and rest. Again, the breathing tube is not because he can't breathe on his own, but because of all the broken ribs. It just helps assure that he gets enough oxygen. He is responsive to every command they give him to "squeeze my hand," "wiggle your toes," "follow the pencil with your eyes." It's amazing. But of course he's totally out of it and can't talk or anything due to the tubes and all the meds he's on. The nurses keep raving at what a wonderful patient he is, how kind and sweet they can tell he is just by his responses. That's my HONEY!

Yesterday he had an echocardiogram just to check for bruising on the heart, since he had 8 cracked ribs and we're waiting for those results. They don't suspect any problems, but it's just a precaution. He has had NO internal injuries which is a MIRACLE of God after being thrown 39 feet. One of the Dr's said his injuries are more like that of a car accident rather than a motorcycle, because motorcycle accidents almost always result in head, neck, back and upper body trauma. THANK YOU, JESUS! And he had another CT scan on his knee and his ankle since they are doing surgery on those tomorrow, along with his pelvis. He was such a trooper. Obviously each time they had to move him or prop him up a bit for a test, he was in agony, but he did great.

So far, since he was admitted into the hospital, he has had 7 pints of blood. I guess with a femur break (of which he had two!) you bleed quite a bit, so this is normal. They are giving him 2 more pints today to beef him up for tomorrow's surgery. He is getting regular doses of insulin every four hours, not because he's diabetic, but because keeping the blood sugar at a healthy level speeds the healing process, which is GOOD! Obviously, he continues to be on a million other drips and drugs and I am grateful for the miracle of modern medicine!

Each morning about 9 doctors come in the room to evaluate him. Today was no different. The team at the Colorado Medical Center of the Rockies is AMAZING and kind and efficient and compassionate, for which I am extremely grateful. I've enjoyed getting to know the nurses and it's a neat opportunity to shine the light of Jesus too. They did a doppler test on his circulation in his feet and it came out great, so that is an answer to prayer BIG time, as this is always a concern. No sign of infection or anything either, so PRAISE YOU JESUS! This morning, when I said LOUDLY (and I mean LOUDLY!) "I love you, honey," he nodded his head up and down, which was so precious.

Today will be a day of maintenance and preparation for the surgery tomorrow, which will be a big, long one. The other day I think I told you that the 5 hour surgery he had Sunday when he was first admitted only took care of his two femur breaks. He will have rods in his legs forever, so he'll set off every metal detector from here to Indonesia. But tomorrow is when they will work on the worst of the injuries, those being his completely dislocated ankle (on the right) and his completely messed up knee (on the left), along with the pelvis, which did NOT sustain very much injury, thank the Lord. The surgery will last from about 10 AM to late in the afternoon, maybe longer, depending on how much work will be done. So, I covet your prayers and will try to update you as the day progresses, as well as after the surgery is complete.

On a practical note, Mark's parents are arriving from Michigan tonight and will stay with my Mom and step-Dad, so that will be great. My Mom and one of my best friends, Kris, are helping me in a tremendous way with all things practical. Those of you who know me well know that I am a bit of an organizational freak, so I have lists going on my laptop and they are helping me handle them one by one. This morning is quiet at the ICU, so I am grateful! Many have offered to help with Christian, and I'm certain we will call upon you at certain points (you know who you are!). Right now, we are trying to keep his routine going, so things aren't complete chaos in his little life. He's doing GREAT! He won't see Mark until Mark gets through his second surgery and if off the breathing tube, etc...that has been everyone's recommendation.

On a totally wacky note...I don't know if any of you watch or listen to the clean comic Brian Regan. Well, we think he is SO funny and he actually has a spoof on "femur breaks" and pain management in one of his acts. Mark and I kid about it ALL the time, so he's never gonna hear the end of this once he is in recovery. The nurses handed me the pain management scale of 1-10 and I almost started laughing! I know that's terrible, but I was actually thankful to be able to get the giggles in the midst of this. I know Mark would laugh too and is definitely at a "10" if it weren't for all the meds. Anyway...just a little side note. It's good to keep a sense of humor, I think!

I think that's it for now...my mind is kind of like mush, but I've been praying for the mind of Christ and He's been so faithful to bring things to my remembrance, as needed.

If you've read this far, THANK YOU! You must really love us. :) We love you and thank God for you. "How beautiful is the Body of Christ...."

Grace,
Shannon

Happy Spring to you all!  Forgive me for my negligence in writing! Life's been kind of nuts, as I'm sure it is for many of you.  And just when I think things are settling down and I can exhale, something happens and things get nutty again!  I guess that's life though, and we learn to find His peace in the midst of it.  Peace isn't inactivity, but it's being settled in spirit in the middle of the chaos.  Still, I do long for more quiet moments to steal away.  

Life reminds me a lot of Colorado weather.  This last week, just when I packed up all my sweaters and warm items, we got a blizzard.  I knew, in the back of my mind, that this would probably happen, but something in me is eager to embrace the new season and so I move around stuff in the closet and get ready for SPRING!  Then...BOOM!...we get nailed with snow, and I have to break out the scarves and coats again.  Then, the next week it's 70 degrees.  It reminds me not to get too attached or too comfortable in the season I am in, because the Lord is constantly mixing things up, in a good way, in order to cause us to fully develop our "wardrobe." That wardrobe is the fruit of the Spirit and the weapons of our warfare.  And so, while I love those seasons where I feel like life is coasting along so smoothly, often I can find myself getting stagnate in my relationship with Him.  Then, when things shift and "winter" comes for a bit, He's reminding me of my deep need for Him.  Suddenly, in that harsh wind, His Spirit blows.   

Anyway, I was just thinking about that today, because two days ago we did have that blizzard, and today it is beautiful and sunny and soon to be warm again.  Seasons come and go, as does the craziness, joy and pain of life, but one thing is constant...our need for Him.  

Another thing God's been showing me, as He's been peeling back some of the layers I've allowed to accumulate around me, is how much I sometimes process life through the need to please others.  Does anyone else fall victim to that besides me?  Being a first-born, I was always the one who wanted to get straight A's, win the Spelling Bee (which I did, by the way), say the right thing, do the right thing, make everyone happy. Throw in the "artistic personality" and you got real trouble.  It's a house of cards, and if you carry those tendencies into your adult life, you tend to order your life around what "others" want or need of you, rather than being true and authentic.  God has been showing me that tendency in me...the tendency to protect and to operate in fear, at times, rather than faith.  So, I'm learning.  I'm asking Him to slow me down and speak to me in those moments so I can rightly divide the truth - to love and live more authentically.  

What's God doing in your life right now?  I'd love to hear from you.  What new things is He showing you about you, your family and  your faith?  My prayer for you is the same as it is for me..."God, get me where I can be best utilized for Your glory...and if I am blind or mid-guided, please protect me from myself, so that I might be fully used for Your name's sake.  Set me free from all that holds me back from being salt and light in this world.  Use me, Lord.  Heal me, that I might help bring healing to others.  May I find my satisfaction in YOU, Lord."

Thanks for listening to my ramblings!  May the Lord find you in the very place that you are right now and speak tenderly to you, leading you into fertile places..."  

Sometimes I sit and stare at this page somehow feeling the need to word things "just so."  After all, I don't want to offend, confuse, or have anyone think less of me.  How goofy is that!  I mean, what's a journal or a blog all about anyway?  Getting real and sharing what's truly on your heart.  

Last night I opened for a Selah concert and I got a chance to meet and go to dinner with Angie Smith (Todd's wife) & the rest of the gang. She was so incredibly real and authentic and we instantly connected. During the course of our conversation, we both came to the conclusion that probably THE most endearing characteristic in a person is authenticity.  I LOVE it when people are unafraid to let it all hang out...not in a self-indulgent way or a pity party way - but in a way that lets you know that they aren't trying to create some sort of false image of themselves.  I also love (& try to be this way, though I'm sure I often fail) when people are more interested in others than themselves - whether it be in the midst of a conversation or by realizing how much we think of ourselves throughout the day and what might improve OUR day, rather than how we might improve someone else's.  Gollee, I am guilty of that so often.  

All that said, I decided last night that more than ever before, I want to share my heart and my journey on these pages.  Not that I haven't up to this point, but I think we, as Christ-followers - need to get real and not be afraid to show it.  We also need to care deeply for one another. And I mean not just in words, but in deeds.  Care enough to be honest.

OK, so enough about that.  As Angie and I were talking last night over dinner, we landed on the subject of motherhood and the subject of infertility came up.  I couldn't help but remember a maddening email that I received once.  Truly, 99% of emails that I receive are precious and heartfelt and encouraging, but this particular one was so upsetting. Not long after adopting our son, I began posting several pictures and journal entries about this answer to prayer.  Knowing fully that this was God's plan for us, I was shocked when I received an email that said that "if we could raise our level of faith then we would have actually been able to have a biological child and not been forced to adopt."  Wow...I'm sorry, did I really just read that?  This emailer went on to share their testimony about how God had answered their prayers after they raised their faith levels and given them several children.  I stared dumb-founded at the computer screen after reading this...very briefly tempted to respond.  But knowing that would get me absolutely nowhere, I casually reached up and hit the "delete" key.  

It took me back to the mid-90's, when I was at Christ for the Nations and a dear, precious friend of mine named Kerri Hulen was fighting valiantly for her life.  She had breast cancer.  With the best intent, many professors, students and other faculty would encourage her to repent of any unconfessed sin in her life, raise her levels of faith, and most certainly she would be healed.  I watched her repent of things that probably weren't even sin, as she struggled to survive for her husband and two toddlers.  I watched her fight for her life, all the while wondering if it was somehow HER fault that she was sick.  There were days I had no words.  I, too, was confused.  This was the first time I was an eyewitness to someone literally fighting to survive.  I wanted to believe that if we did all the right things & confessed the right Scriptures that all would be well.  After a five year battle, Kerri went home to be with Jesus.  While she was struggling to live, I was struggling to bring life into this world.  Both of us were crying out to God, but not getting the answer we expected.  

And there are millions of stories that are similar.  Over the years, through the struggle with infertility that Mark and I had, I received many "words from the Lord" given to me by people.  I've seen many precious Christ-followers be catapulted into deep, deep valleys of pain plagued by all the "why's." And I've heard many, many testimonies of God's healing power and deliverance as well.  There was no common denominator, where those with GREAT faith got the miracle and those with lesser faith continued to muddle along in their trials.  Not so.

The fact is that God is the One who decides.  I'm not saying that there aren't things we do that hinder His power in our lives and there are many things He "allows" but does not necessarily "cause."  Certainly. But if our hearts are turned toward Him, our desire is for Him, and our lives are surrendered to Him, we are in HIS hands.  He is speaking to us, He is living in and through us.  He is authoring our stories.  He is putting the finishing touches on each chapter of our lives.  Sometimes the chapter is marred by deep pain.  But He has promised to make those valleys fertile places and to never leave us nor forsake us.  

OK...so my theology has changed, I suppose, over the years.  Or I guess I've let go of my need to understand and have pat answers and I'm learning to trust more and more in a God that I do not fully comprehend, who is wild at heart, but who is incomprehensibly good.  

So, yes, I hit the "delete" key that night over a year ago when I read that email.  But I suppose this is my response now.  My honest response.  If you can look in the beautiful eyes of my son and tell me that it isn't God's miraculous plan to place him into our arms, then I do not believe that you fully understand the nature of who He is.  For He is the very One who burst through time & poured out His blood in order to ransom us & pluck us out of certain death and adopt us as His sons and daughters.  And guess what?  That was not Plan B.  The Lamb was slain before the foundations of the world.  

Every story is different.  God isn't predictable.  His Word is true and it is infallible.  But in this world we will have trouble.  Ah, but fear not, He has overcome the world.  And He will see fit that ALL things we face will work together for good when we love Him and are called according to His purpose.  Not a trite answer.  Just a fact.  

So, to address the question of whether or not my friend Kerri or I (or any other person experiencing a great trial) have a problem with our faith levels.  How does one even answer that?  As if we could ever "earn" a miracle or deserve anything at all, as we lie in a pile of filthy rags, thinking we have even an ounce of righteousness in and of ourselves.  I am not saying that faith does not please the Lord.  And with all my heart, I desire for my faith in HIM to be great.  But if we examine the Word and the accounts therein, we will find that pain and faith are close companions.  And as a result, together they often birthed greater miracles than any mind could've conceived or prayed for.  And so they did in our son, Christian.  Our miracle.  God's gift.  His story unfolding in our lives, for His glory.  The labor of pain and faith birthed at long last.  

Click here to listen to Tattered Pages

This is my very first journal entry on my new website!  And I am embarrassed to see that my last one was dated June 20th!  Oh my...

Well, thankfully, there is such a thing as a "new beginning" or a "fresh start" and it is my hope that I will be better at "blogging" this coming year.  

It's been quite a year - full of glimpses of God's great faithfulness everywhere I look. Even in the painful chapters of this year, ones I wouldn't care to re-live, I can see His touch as He carefully worked it all according to the good of this child who loves Him.  

One life-changing thing that happened this year was the fact that I had the privilege of visiting a federal prison several times down in Canon City, CO with another friend of mine from Woodmen Valley Chapel in Colorado Springs.  We went, along with the Chaplain there (who is also an incredible bass player at our church!), and spent time with the prisoners, many who have been set free by Jesus Christ.  They have several guys who form their worship team, and you should hear those guys rock the house for Jesus!  That room swells with so much praise, you think the walls are going to fall down.  

One afternoon when we were down there, we asked one of the guys to share his story with us, as we all sat eating lunch.  He said he had no desire to ever share his story again, because every time he had it was in front of a judge who rejected him and threw him back into the system. His story represented shame, rejection, denial & bondage.  But between that visit and the next, God began to work on Hop's heart (that's his name).  He began to realize that his story belongs to the Lord and that maybe it was time he shared it, for whatever purpose God might have for him to do so.  And he shared his story with us that day...it goes like this.  

Hop was a teenager when it all happened.  He and his brother got into a huge fight with a gang.  No one was killed, but many were badly injured. Because the gang they were fighting with was of another race, Hop was charged with a hate crime and multiple felonies, resulting in about a 60 year sentence.  (Hop is now in his mid-thirties)  

Upon arriving at the Denver County Jail, he was thrown down into the "hole" for 40 days and nights.  All that was down there was a filthy toilet, a bed frame (no mattress) and behind the toilet was a dirty, torn up, tattered Bible.  Well, not having a whole lot else to do, Hop began to read it.  He read that Bible from cover to cover, who knows how many times, while he was down there.  And while he did, the Living Word came and impacted him in ways that absolutely transformed His life.  The Word came to life while he was down in the dark place.  While he was in that hole, Hop gave his life to the Lord in a dramatic way, and simply can not get enough of the Word of God ever since.  He is now fluent in Hebrew and Greek and teaches the Word of God to the inmates every week.  

Needless to say, my friend Cindy and I were in tears.  The power of one person's story should not be diminished.  Sometimes the most painful parts of that story are the parts that God can most use to heal another life.  We experienced the power of "story" that day.  

A few of us, including our Pastor (Matt Heard), planned to head down to do a special Christmas program for the inmates in December.  The theme was going to be "the gift of words."  Cindy mentioned that it might be neat if I wrote a song for the guys.  So, I tucked that idea in my pocket and planned to try to do so later.  In November, it came time to think about it again and try to write a song.  As I began to pray and process, that picture of Hop in the bottom of that "hole" came to me. And in an instant the words "tattered pages" came across my mind's eye.  I emailed what I was thinking to Cindy and she said..."girl, that is SO the title of the song!"  I said, "ya think?"  And so, I began to write. And like all "creations" that the Holy Spirit gives, the song was finished that evening and I truly felt so aware that He had deposited it into my heart and I was simply His vessel pouring out the words and music on paper.  

Well, to try to abbreviate the rest of this story...we ended up singing this song at the prison on December 16th and it was such a special time with the inmates.  And it was so special to see Hop's story come to life now in a song.  It was fun to bring a bunch of food and decorations in and throw them a big Christmas party!  The big "hit" of the party were the creme puffs bought from Sam's Club!  

Well, it didn't end there.  My church decided that perhaps we should use the song "Tattered Pages" for our Christmas Eve services!  I was so excited.  Then, Cindy had the idea that we should record the song and give it away to everyone that comes that day/night.  And so I did!  

The reason I'm sharing this story isn't at ALL to say..."isn't that cool how they used my song?"  Oh, no...not at all.  It is cool and as a songwriter, it is so neat to see a song get wings.  But, what is amazing to me is the power of our story.  Hop is a prisoner.  (not on the inside, but in the natural) For all intents and purposes, he feels like his story is worthless.  Or he DID feel that say.  But because he was willing to say, "hey, my story belongs to God," a heart was touched, then a song was birthed.  And because a song was birthed, we were able to sing it at the prison for many hearts.  And then, as a result, his story got recorded through song to be given to the thousands of people who walked through that door to attend Christmas Eve services.  Those people took his story home with him.  They are sharing his story with other people who need to hear the story.  

And you, my friend, you have a story.  I have a story.  Some of it is stuff we'd rather not anyone know about.  Some of it is painful.  And, of course, there is a time and place for all things.  But, please, don't diminish your story and stuff it down thinking only the pretty, shiny parts of you are what God can use.  I find as we look through the Scripture that God tends to used tarnished, tattered stories quite often, don't you?  God is the author and finisher of our faith.  He is the Potter. He is the Great Composer.  And somehow, in His amazing grace, He has a way of weaving our stories together in a tapestry and impacting one another.  It's like a domino effect.  I find it incredible and I stand amazed at how our Awesome God works.  

So, if you find yourself looking at the "tattered pages" of your life wondering how on earth God could ever use this or that chapter.  Oh, our God is full of all kinds of surprises and miracles.  Nothing is wasted in His book.  No one is without purpose.  Give Him your story.  Trust Him with it.  For He is good...and there is a world in need of hearing the miracle He has written upon the pages of your life.  

I just finished reading the book "The Shack."  it impacted me greatly and I'm still processing. But one quote toward the end stood out to me with regard to the significance of our lives.  It is as follows:

(The Holy Spirit is speaking to Mack, the main character, about whether or not his story is significant) "Mack, if anything matters then everything matters.  Because you are important, everything you do is important.  Every time you forgive, the universe changes; every time you reach out and touch a heart or a life, the world changes: with every kindness and service, seen or unseen, my purposes are accomplished and nothing will ever be the same again..."

Have you ever felt like your days were very "ordinary"?  Your life, your routine, maybe even your spiritual walk, just very "Plain Jane?" ( Or "Plain Wayne" if you're a guy)  Maybe you're not on a mountaintop OR in a valley.  After all, those are the times that I think we "feel" Him nearest.  But it's not as if, when we're not flying high or flailing in the depths, He's any less present....maybe we just don't feel as "in need" of Him.  H-m-m-m-m.....kind of scary, I think. 

I've been feeling that way lately - struggling to find more significance in my "every day" and wanting to "feel" Him more near.  As I've pouted and poked my feet in the proverbial dirt on the ground of my life, it dawned on me that God Himself walked on this earth.  What is so "ordinary" about that?  He Himself breathed life into me.  Could it be, then, that every breath I take on this "ordinary" day is a miracle itself? He numbers the hairs on this head of mine - even on a bad hair day. So shall I thank Him when I'm brushing my hair that He cares enough to do so and does not find me a bore?  He does not appear or reappear given my circumstances - be it valley low or mountain high.  Every day - every ordinary meal-preparing, errand-running, child-chasing day - is HIS. It's in HIS hands - His very miraculous, powerful, significant hands.  

And so this wrestling, I'm convinced, has come down to one thing. One very telling thing about my view of life at times.  I often equate busyness with significance.  There....I said it.  Did someone call me to write a song for them?  Have I been invited to sing at some special event?  Do I feel needed/wanted by my family and friends...maybe even admired?  Is my calendar full?  Are my gifts being utilized? (you've never felt that way, have you? It must be just me...) Somehow, when these things are present, it means that God is listening, moving on my behalf, giving me "favor."  Ick....that could not be further from the truth.  TODAY, this very hour, this very moment, I have HIS FAVOR.  For I have His salvation and His presence and I have the power of His Spirit working within me - He who infuses the "ordinary" with the extraordinary. Isn't that TRUE favor?  

I haven't figured all this out, but this one thing I DO know.  Not one day is ordinary. As I sit here behind my laptop, He is speaking to me. As I prepare a meal for my family, I can encounter the Holy One and thank Him for His provision.  As I walk the aisles of the grocery store and see the huge selection, I can pray for the majority of the rest of the world who has no such option and wants even for a simple bowl of rice at times.  Finding His heart in the ordinary moments is what makes life worth living.  For He is the Extraordinary God of a very ordinary "me."  

Maybe because I'm getting older or maybe it's because I'm often just too busy, but I'm feeling the need to simplify!  Sometimes I imagine what it might be like to live like the "Little House on the Prairie" folks might have.  Good ol' Mary and Laura.  The pace was slow -albeit TOO slow - but this sense of constant urgency didn't really exist.  "It would get done when it gets done..." and nobody was terribly uptight about it.  A letter took a month to get there, the clothes were washed by hand, you couldn't zip up to the store in your Honda and use your cell phone while you did so.  Don't get me wrong...I'm extremely thankful for modern day conveniences.  I have a cell phone, a laptop, a washing machine, and love to e-mail!  But I find myself in a frenzy at times, tending more to those things than to my soul. 

Recently I was introduced to, and have since become dear friends with, a woman named Linda Dillow.  She is a best-selling author, a wife, a missionary, a speaker, a mother of four, and a grandmother of several.  She wrote two books, in particular, which have impacted me greatly lately called  "Calm My Anxious Heart" and "Satisfy My Thirsty Soul."  The Lord has taught her a great deal about "rest" and "satisfaction" in Him as our soul's richest fare, in and through the circumstances of everyday life.  David talks all about yearning and craving the Lord throughout the Psalms, but do we REALLY?  I've had to ask myself that question again and again.  The things we crave most are the things that we give our time to...so, are they my laptop?  My ministry?  My friends?  My TV?  Sports?  Even, my family? All good things (well, except the TV, maybe), but not the BETTER thing - the ONE thing...the BEST thing, that we so often neglect. His love is better than life!  I do believe that...and yet at times, I find myself anxious or depressed or uptight! And so, I've made it my prayer and desire to simplify...to simplify life to where the ONE thing that matters most in the world to me - which is my precious Lord - gets more of my time and attention.  That's always been my intent, but "life" has crept in so subtly the last few years and I'm nipping it in the bud!  So, that means turning off the TV more, saying "no" to extra-curricular things that just "fill" my time, not buying an Oprah magazine when I fly on the plane, but spending time in His Word, becoming absorbed in worship as I stare out the window upon His glorious creation, maybe even saying "no" to some ministry events I might normally say "yes" to....ah, yes...just "being" with Him who is most precious to me every chance I get.  They're small choices, but they add up in T-I-M-E and TIME is a treasure we give Him.  It's the treasure that Mary gave Him while Martha scurried about in the kitchen, while Jesus sat in the other room with Mary at His feet.  

Linda and I ministered together at a women's meeting called "Still Waters" the other night and she made such a good point when she said that she used to be a "worker who loved" rather than a "lover who worked."  She used to "do, do, do" for the Lord - tending to His people and His work (both wonderful things), but she neglected her Bridgegroom.  Oh...how the Lord has been pulling me to Himself and I pray He does the same for you.  May we never be satisfied with anything short of deep, intimate communion with the Lover of our very soul.  I do believe that we will be more satisifed than we ever believed we could be, for He is life itself...

Happy New Year!  What an amazing year it has been!  As I look back on 2007, I am most grateful for the fact that all the different experiences the Lord allowed in my life this year all seemed to intersect and result in a deeper amazement of who He is! As I sit on the edge of 2008, looking back to 2007, I can only whisper the words "thank You, Jesus."  

It hasn't been an easy year.  No, in fact, there have been many highs and lows.  But isn't that exactly where the Lord meets us? His face always seems clearer to me in the valleys, almost like I could reach out and touch His face.   

Even as I write, I am sitting in a hotel room in Waseca, Minnesota, just miles from where my Dad grew up.  His Mother, my Grandma, died just three days ago.  She was 92 years old and her heart finally failed her, after many months of struggling to keep her blood pumping.  She was a retired school teacher - Latin, English Grammar and Literature were her subjects - a lover of travel (like her Granddaughter, Shannon), and a Norwegian through and through. She married my Grandpa, James Fogal, years ago, but he died while my Dad was in college, so I never got a chance to meet him. But then my Grandma (Leona was her name) married a dear man named Edward Bluhm in the 80's.  Then he passed away several years ago. I remember she collected spoons from all over the world and thimbles. She was insanely organized and neat as a pin and had a witty, dry sense of humor.  She used to translate books into Norwegian & Latin. I suppose she is where I inherited my love for travel, language and writing and, I confess, probably where I got my neat-knick tendencies!  

My Dad and his wife, Ann, and I sat on their hotel room bed tonight sifting through all her pictures, selecting special ones that we wanted to take home to cherish.  It made me realize that, after all is said and done, the legacy that we really leave behind is not anything to do with what we have, but who we are.  How we loved.  How we showed kindness.  How we made others smile.  How we made a difference.  

Last week I was leading worship down at Woodmen Valley in Colorado Springs, and Doug Olsen preached on "The Resolution of Legacy."  It was powerful.  He talked about the difference between "memories & recollections" and a true legacy.  The difference is in the mentoring.  Are we just creating fond memories or are we making deposits into the lives we are making memories with?  Oh, how I long to leave that legacy of love and concern for impacting the lives around me. I want to be a good steward of what the Lord has entrusted to me by entrusting it to others, like the Apostle Paul did.  The message truly inspired me...

Between our times spent at Woodmen Valley this last year (life-changing) and the Beth Moore "Tabernacle" study I did, I feel like I have fallen deeper in love and amazement with the Lord than ever before.  I thought I knew Him before.  I thought I loved Him before.  And I did.  But, oh, I love Him more at the end of 2007 than I did at the beginning.  That's the best thing I could ever say about this last year.  I love loving You more, my Jesus!  The more I discover, the more deeply I am blown away...the more life comes into focus.  

And so my prayer for 2008 for me, for my family and for you is simply this...."I pray that at this time next year we will look back on 2008 and say 'Jesus, I love You more now than I did a year ago. I have become more and more amazed by who You are this last year than ever before...I am in awe of Your love and mesmerized by Your cross.'"

If that prayer is answered - and He will answer it - there's not anything else that can beat it.  Knowing Him is knowing satisfaction. Knowing Him is knowing purpose.  Knowing Him is gaining vision. Loving Him is loving the very Lover of your very soul.  Loving Him is loving perfect love...love that will not fail you.   When we look into His face, we see perfection, we see acceptance, we see grace, we see holiness, we see our Abba.  

So, on the cusp of 2008 I feel most grateful.  I am saying good-bye, temporarily, to a Grandma who knew You and is now with You, but I am saying "hello" to another year journeying with my Father.  Thank You, Lord, for the spiritual significance of 2007.  I love You with all that is within me.  You are life to me.