Hello all!  Long time, no write, I know!  Guilty as charged!  I have lots of good excuses, but you probably don't want to hear any of them.  Let's just say "life is busy."  Too busy sometimes.  Sometimes we just need to truly "rest."  Nothing on our minds, but resting in the Lord - letting Him restore our soul.  For me, this means hopping in the car and driving up into the mountains.  This is my escape with the Lord.  Somehow the mountains and lack of civilization take me to the place I know I should be even in the midst of the busyness of life, but sometimes have a hard time finding.  

We just moved into our house about 2 months ago, and for those of you who have moved recently, you know the process can be exhausting and ongoing.  But we're thankful to have a home to call our own!  Thank you, Lord.  On another subject, just a couple of weeks ago, my Mom got married!  That was exciting and we rejoice with her and Everett!  So, as you can see, I've had a lot of extra "stuff" going on lately.  It's all good. 

Also, on a musical note, the CD "I Am Free" with Worship Leader Ross Parsley, just came out on Hosanna! Integrity, and it is a great CD.  I had the privilege of singing a few solos on it and singing back-up with Ross's brother, Brad.  It was an absolute blast and the guys at New Life Church in Colorado Springs rock!  If you get a chance to check it out, you won't be disappointed.  I believe the CD is anointed of the Lord. 

I get lots of e-mails from those of you who are struggling with "childlessness" as we are.  I so appreciate you sharing your heart and your journey with us.  It is a club none of us wanted to join, but it feels better when you know others can understand your pain and be in prayer for you.  Right now Mark and I are doing some more holistic treatments as we hope and pray for our "blessing."  It's so hard to know what direction to go, if any, sometimes.  Do we pursue adoption, do we do in-vitro, do we just wait and keep trying?  And in the process, I'll be the first to admit that it rocks my faith.  I certainly never doubt that God can, but sometimes I doubt that He will, and that's where our faith has to be strong and steadfast.  Many times life just doesn't make sense and what do we do with that?  We keep believing.  And keep believing.  And keep believing.  A dear friend of mine, Kathy Ferguson, whose beloved husband Dr. Rick Ferguson died in a car accident a few years ago, taught the ladies at our church an excellent message a while back.  She taught on "real faith."  What happens when God doesn't do what we expect Him to do, or He allows something in our lives that is contrary to what we desire or expected?  Do we lose heart , or do we continue to believe His character and His heart?  Are we having faith in faith, or faith in Him who holds all things in His hands?  It was a challenging message, but a most necessary one.  Brennan Manning once said, "A God who is completely understood is no God at all."  Isn't that the truth?  Throughout the word, God allowed tragedy in His children's lives, for an appointed season.  They often felt neglected, abandoned, left for dead.  But God is a God of restoration, and He will never just leave us broken.  He may not fix it the way we want Him to, but He will restore our souls, and we will see the fruit in due season. 

In regards to infertility, it's very painful, because it means surrendering what you've dreamed of your whole life.  But we've got to surrender it, because in losing our life. we will find it.  Even after 9 years of "trying," though I am tempted to lose hope, I still believe that God has His eye on us and at His appointed time, He will bless us with a child.  But I must be OK even if He doesn't.  As Job said..."Though He slay me, yet will I serve Him."  "Lord,  hope deferred has made my heart sick, but help me to have that Job kind of "real faith,"  that I might never doubt the Person and the heart of who You are, no matter how this journey of infertility ends."    

It's trials like these that take the candy-coating off of our faith.  Infertility is a bitter cup, but oh, the sweet, sweet Companion we have in Jesus, who walks every step with us and has sipped a bitter cup Himself on our behalf.