When I look at the last time I wrote I simply can't believe how quickly time has flown this year.  Does anybody else feel that way?  Like, where did 2004 go?  Remember how slowly the days used to roll by when you were just a kid?  I would play "Light Bright,"  "Tinker Toys," or have stuffed animal tea parties for hours!  "Kick the Can" seemed to go on forever, as did adventures on my bike through the trails in the woods behind our house.  Time seemed to stand still.  Things change as we grow older, that's for sure.  But oh, how I long to keep that childlike approach to life, that lack of anxiety, that absolute faith that things will be OK.  The years, the trials and the circumstances of our lives, not to mention the responsibilities we incur, tend to steal away that childlike viewpoint.  Yet Christ said that unless we become as little children we won't inherit the Kingdom of Heaven.  Wow!  So, it should be our goal to have an innocent trust and unwavering confidence in our Abba. 

I just finished reading "Ruthless Trust" by Brennan Manning - one of my favorite authors.  What an incredibly deep and intense book.  One of those 'heart surgery' type books that you cry through, and feel transformed by after reading.  I'd like to share a few meaningful quotes from the book that I jotted into my journal while reading it.   

"Often trust begins on the far side of despair.  When all human resources are exhausted, when the craving for reassurances is stifled, when we forego control, when we cease trying to manipulate God and demystify Mystery then - at our wits end - trust happens within us and the untainted cry, 'Abba, into Your hands I commend my spirit' surges from the heart."

"Humble men and women do not have a LOW opinion of themselves, they have NO opinion of themselves because they so rarely think about themselves.  The heart of humility lies in undivided attention to God.  Neither overly sensitive to criticism nor inflated by praise, they recognize their brokenness, acknowledge their gifts and refuse to take themselves seriously."

"When my mind is replaying past glories and defeats or imagining unknown tomorrows, the music of what is happening is muted."

"My experience of God has taught me that whatever He does must of necessity be good.  Thus, everything that I receive from His loving hand or whatever He permits me to receive from the hands of others - whether it be prosperity or adversity, sweet or bitter - I accept with joy and see it as a sign of His favor.  For many years now, my first resolution each morning is to attach myself to nothing but the will of God alone.  I have learned that the will of God is the love of God.  And by the outpouring of His grace, I have so merged my will with His that whatever He wills, I will too.  Therefore, I have always been happy." (spoken by a homeless man on the church steps)

"Trust is the preminent expression of love.  It means more to Jesus when we say, "I trust You," than when we say, "I love you."

As you can tell, this book is rich with meaning!  I encourage you to read it if you are deeply desiring to fully trust God, but find yourself unable.  I realized that I constantly try to reconcile the difficulties in my life with God's trustworthiness, as if He defines being trustworthy the way I do.  He can be trusted PERIOD - whether I cry out to Him to give Mark and me a child til I'm as old as Sarah and Abraham!  That doesn't mean my heart won't ache for as long as I live, and He doesn't expect that it won't.  But in the midst of that trial I absolutely have to trust in His abundant love and goodness toward me and not look at my circumstance as a sign of His disfavor.  I must believe what the Word says about His character - the very essence of Who He is is LOVE.  And He loves me and He loves YOU!  PERIOD!!! 

Well, on that note, I guess I'll close for now.  I pray each one of you has a blessed Christmas and Holiday Season with your friends and family and that we each take the time to rejoice and relish in the deep well of God's love & mercy.  He is WORTHY to be PRAISED!  Hallelujah!